Sorting, Soap, and Sanity
A no nonsense guide to doing your washing
Sit down, grab a coffee, and let’s have a blunt chat about the laundry pile. For many of us, this wasn’t a skill we were born with—it’s a ritual we had to learn the hard way after a favorite flannel came out looking like it was made for a doll.
Most of us just throw a random assortment of clothes into the drum, chuck in a pod, turn the dial to a random setting, and pray nothing shrinks, fades, or comes out smelling weird.
But doing your laundry properly isn’t just about avoiding a shrunken jumper; it’s an act of self care – taking care of your belongings, your skin, and your environment with actual intention. If your parents never sat you down to explain the literal mechanics of a washing machine, don’t sweat it. Consider this your judgment-free, no-bullshit guide to mastering the laundry pile.
Here is your “Master Recipe” for the perfect wash, followed by the deep-dive science, the shopping guide, and a few witchy extras.
The Highlights
- 1. Sort & Empty: Check every single pocket for tissues or loose change. Sort your clothes into Lights and Darks. Mixing them is the fastest way to turn your crisp whites into a murky, energetic mess.
- 2. Load with Respect: Place your clothes loosely into the drum.
- The Golden Rule: Only fill it up to 2/3rds. Your clothes clean themselves by rubbing against each other in the soapy water. If you pack the machine so tight that nothing can move, the water can’t circulate, and the dirt just gets trapped in the folds.
- 3. Add Your Soap
- Pods: 1 pod goes at the back of the drum before the clothes.
- Powder/Liquid: Use the drawer. Stick to 35-50ml—using too much soap won’t make things cleaner; it just leaves a sticky residue on your skin.
- 4. Set the Dial & Customise: Turn the dial to ECO. It’s the standard choice for your daily flannels and tees. Manually adjust your settings to:
- Temp: 40°C – The sweet spot for cleanliness without shrinking
- Spin: 1000 – Strong enough to dry, gentle enough to protect
- 5. The Final Unload: Press Start. When you hear the beep or the physical “click” of the lock clearing, get them out immediately. Leaving damp clothes in the machine is an invitation for stale energy and musty smells. Hang them on a line or airer until they are dry to the touch.
Part 1: The Master Ritual in 5 Steps
Step 1: The Sorting Ceremony
We’ve all done the lazy dump-and-run, but if you want your clothes to last longer than a season, you have to sort them. It takes two minutes, and it saves you from turning your favourite white t-shirt a dingy shade of grey.
- By Colour: Separate into three piles:
- Whites/Lights (crisp whites, pastels, creams),
- Darks (blacks, navies, deep purples),
- Reds/Brights (anything that might bleed colour)
- By Fabric Weight: This is the one people skip. Avoid washing heavy denim jeans or zip-up hoodies in the same load as your delicate cotton underwear or thin shirts. The heavy friction from zips and rough denim will literally chew through delicate fabrics during the spin cycle.
- Turn Things Inside Out: Flip graphic tees, jeans, and heavily dyed items inside out. This protects the prints from cracking and keeps the colours from fading against the machine drum.
Step 2: Loading the Drum
A washing machine needs room to breathe. Your clothes clean themselves by rubbing against each other in the soapy water. If you pack the machine so tight that nothing can move, the water can’t circulate, and the dirt just gets trapped in the folds.
- The Palm Trick: Once your clothes are in, put your hand into the top of the drum. You should easily be able to fit a closed fist or a flat hand between the top of the laundry pile and the ceiling of the drum. If you have to shove your arm in like you’re birthing a calf, take a few items out.
Step 3: The Detergent Trap
More bubbles do not equal cleaner clothes. If you use too much liquid or powder, the machine can’t rinse it all out. That extra soap gets trapped in the fibres of your clothes, making them feel stiff, crunchy, and dull. Even worse, that trapped residue sits against your skin, causing unexplained body acne, eczema flares, and itchiness.
- The Rule of Thumb: Look at the cap of your liquid detergent. You generally only need to fill it to the lower line (about 1 to 2 tablespoons) for a standard load. If you’re using a pod, one is plenty. Only add a tiny bit more if your clothes are visibly caked in mud.
- Ditch the Fabric Softener: Bluntly? Fabric softener is a scam. It doesn’t actually soften clothes; it coats the fibres in a thin layer of chemical wax. This ruins the absorbency of your towels, destroys the elasticity of gym gear, and clogs up your washing machine with a nasty grey sludge (scrud). If you want naturally soft, fresh clothes, add a splash of white vinegar to the softener drawer instead—we promise it won’t make your clothes smell like pickles!
Step 4: Deciphering the Dial
Your machine probably has twenty different dials, but you really only need to master the core basics to protect your clothes.
The Default Hero (ECO 40-60): If you are ever in doubt, turn your dial straight to ECO. It is the absolute best default for a standard load of everyday clothes like t-shirts and jeans. It uses significantly less energy by washing your clothes thoroughly over a longer period, making it kind to the planet, your bills, and your fabrics.
Temperature is as simple as it sounds – the temperature of the water used to wash the clothes. There is a reason for the different options…
- 30°C (The Everyday Hero): Modern detergents are designed to activate beautifully in cooler water. A 30°C wash is perfect for your everyday shirts, jeans, and darks. It prevents shrinking, stops colours from bleeding, and consumes a massive 60% less electricity than a hot wash.
- 40°C (The Heavy Lifter): Use this for things that have actually touched sweat and dirt—like your workout gear, heavily soiled clothing, or bedding.
- 60°C (The Sanitizer): Save this high heat strictly for towels, underwear, and bed sheets when someone has been sick. This temperature is hot enough to kill bacteria and dust mites, but it will wear down normal clothing fabric over time, so use it sparingly.
Think of spin speed as the physical intensity of the cycle.
- 1400 RPM: A high-speed whirlwind designed specifically for heavy cottons, towels, and thick bedding to force the water out and dramatically cut down your drying time.
- 800–1000 RPM: The balanced, everyday sweet spot. It gets the water out effectively but is gentle enough to protect the seams and fibres of your standard shirts and flannels.
- 400–600 RPM: A slow, gentle hum. Use this strictly for delicate fabrics, woollens, or items prone to losing their shape.
Once your clothes are in and your settings are customized, press the Start/Pause button (the play symbol).
- The Machine Logic: You’ll know the machine has successfully accepted the ritual when you hear a click and the solid Padlock/Lock Symbol lights up on the display. This means the door is completely secure, the cycle is officially running, and your job is done for now. Go grab a tea or a book—the sanctuary is working in the background.
Step 5: The Final Unload & Dry
- The Signal: Listen for the beep, watch for the timer to hit zero, or wait for that physical “click” of the door unlocking.
- Get Them Out: Take your laundry out immediately. Letting it sit in a damp, dark drum for hours is an invitation for stale energy and musty smells.
- Hang to Dry: Get your laundry hung up on a line or an airer until it is dry to the touch. It keeps your pieces in their original shape and leaves them smelling completely fresh.
Part 2: The Additives Minefield
Walking into the laundry aisle feels like a boss fight you didn’t sign up for. Brands want you to believe you need a twelve-step routine just to have clean socks, but that’s the marketing trap talking. Let’s break the minefield down into three simple categories so you can decide what actually deserves space in your cupboard and your budget.
Category 1: The Cleaners
The Essentials
You only need one of these. This is the soap that does the actual work of removing dirt and “human gunk.”
- Bio vs. Non-Bio (The Cleaning Method):
- Bio: Contains enzymes that literally “eat” protein stains (sweat, food, grass). Pros: Best for deep cleaning and heavy mess. Cons: Those enzymes can make sensitive or eczema-prone skin flare up.
- Non-Bio: Completely free of enzymes. Pros: The ultimate best friend for sensitive, reactive skin. Cons: Might struggle with severe stains unless you pre-treat them or use a slightly higher temperature.
- The Format (Pods vs. Powder vs. Liquid):
- Pods (e.g., Daz, Ariel): The easiest option for when executive dysfunction hits. No measuring, no mess—just toss one right into the back of the drum before the clothes go in. Con: The most expensive per wash.
- Powder: Usually the cheapest option and excellent for keeping your white loads looking bright. Con: Can be messy and occasionally leaves white streaks on dark clothes if your machine overloads.
- Liquid: Brilliant for quick washes and ideal for rubbing directly onto stains before washing. Con: Easy to accidentally over-pour, leading to a sticky drawer and crunchy clothes.
The Choice: If you have sensitive skin, buy Non-Bio Liquid. If you’re on a budget and have a messy life, buy Bio Powder. If you struggle with energy or physical ability, keep Pods on hand.
Category 2: Conditioners & Scent
The “Vibe” Boosters
These are 100% optional. They don’t clean; they just change the physical texture or smell of the fabric.
- Fabric Softener: Adds synthetic scent and reduces static. Never use it on towels or gym gear; it coats the fibers in wax and stops them from absorbing water.
- White Vinegar (The Witchy Alternative): Incredibly cheap, naturally removes stubborn smells, kills bacteria, and softens clothes without a layer of chemicals.
- Scent Boosters: Little dissolvable perfume beads. They add absolutely zero cleaning value, but if you love a heavily scented sanctuary and aren’t sensitive to fragrances, they are purely for the aesthetic vibes.
Category 3: The Problem Solvers & Hardware Helpers
Use these for specific “oops” moments or to protect your favourite wardrobe pieces.
- Stain Removers: Keep a spray or gel handy. Apply it directly to the coffee spill or grass stain before it goes into the machine. It’s a literal safety net for your favorite shirts.
- Laundry Sanitizer: Essential for underwear, towels, gym kits, or after a bout of illness. It kills 99.9% of germs even on a cool 30°C or 40°C wash.
- Mesh Underwear Bags: The unsung heroes of clothes preservation. Pop your bras, delicate knickers, or anything with thin straps inside before tossing them in the drum. It stops them from getting tangled, stretched, or ripped to shreds during the spin cycle.
- Lint & Fur Balls: If you share your home with shedding pets, toss a couple of these reusable balls into the drum. They act as magnets for loose hair so it doesn’t end up permanently woven into your flannels.
Part 3: The Witchy Twist
Scenting with Intention
Laundry day doesn’t have to be a mindless chore; you can easily turn it into a grounding, domestic ritual. When you clean, dry, and fold your clean clothes, you are literally preparing the armour you wear out in the world.
If you miss the heavy artificial scents of fabric softeners but want to keep your safe haven free of chemicals, try making a simple Laundry Simmer Pot while your machine is running. Simmer a slice of lemon, a sprig of rosemary, and a dash of vanilla on the stove to clear the stale energy out of your kitchen.
We add citrus fruit, herbs and flowers to our white vinegar to soak for a couple of weeks before we use it so it can absorb some of the scents.
Alternatively, drop a few dried lavender florets or a tiny splash of a clean carrier oil on a scrap piece of cloth, and toss it into your wardrobe or drawers.
Dealing with “Laundry Amnesia” We’ve all forgotten a load. If your clothes smell musty because they sat in the drum too long, don’t just dry them. Re-wash them on a quick cycle with a cup of white vinegar. It kills the mold spores, strips the odour, and resets the energy of the fabric.
Neurodivergent-Friendly Resources
If you need instructions, routines, or hacks that don’t feel like a lecture, these are the best “safe havens” on the internet:
- Unf*ck Your Habitat: Perfect for when the laundry mountain feels impossible. It focuses on “20/10s” (20 minutes of work, 10 minutes of rest) and is incredibly kind to low-energy days.
- Clean My Space (YouTube): Blunt, science-based explanations of why certain products work, how to use them, and which ones are a total waste of your money.
- The Tody App: If you constantly forget when you last washed the bedding, this app visualizes “dirtiness” over time rather than using a strict calendar, which is a total game-changer for ADHD brains.
The Final Word
Taking care of your space and your clothes is a vital part of self-care. It’s about creating a life that feels soft, clean, and manageable on your own terms. Now go tackle that pile, drop the temperature to 30, and stop over-dosing your soap drawer!
Breathe easy, love hard. Your safe haven is waiting. 🌿✨
You’ve got this.
Mae
Sapphic Self