Looking after yourself when it’s the last thing you want to do
Depression isn’t romantic.
It’s a thief — stealing energy, joy, and the ability to do even the simplest things.
It turns everyday care into quests and fills your mind with gremlins whispering that you’re lazy or failing.
We call it The Big Sad because sometimes that’s all you can name it as.
It rolls in like fog, heavy and cold, and you just have to wait until it thins.
We’ve been there too — every couple of months like clockwork — and it’s never easy.
This post isn’t about curing it or pretending it’s pretty.
It’s about surviving through it.
About caring for yourself even when you don’t want to.
About doing your best, even when your best looks different each day.
Because it’s not a weakness. It’s not the end.
It’s a temporary state that will pass.
And when you’re ready to help yourself again, we’ll be here to lift you back up.
🌧️ Meeting Yourself Where You Are
When the Big Sad hits, your capacity shifts. Things that were simple yesterday — eating, showering, replying to a message — suddenly feel like climbing a mountain in fog. That doesn’t mean you’re lazy, broken, or failing. It means your brain and body are asking for gentleness.
You don’t have to push or “snap out of it.” Healing starts with meeting yourself where you are. Some days that means doing a full routine; other days it means surviving with the basics — drinking water, brushing your teeth, existing.
Your “best” will change from day to day, and that’s okay.
Maybe today’s win is putting on fresh pyjamas instead of staying in the same ones.
Maybe it’s opening a window for five minutes, or remembering your meds.
Every small act is proof that you still care — even if it doesn’t feel like it.
They’re not chores, they’re love spells for survival.
🌿 Practical & Grounding Care
When you can’t fix the sadness, you can still care for the body that’s carrying it.
Depression turns simple needs into impossible quests, but meeting those needs is one of the most powerful ways to ground yourself back into the world.
💧 Hydrate — kindly
Skip the energy drinks and the triple-shot coffee. They might give you a jolt, but the crash can make anxiety and fatigue worse.
Choose something that comforts and hydrates — water, squash, herbal tea, juice, milk — whatever your body will accept.
Keep it close. Future-you will thank you.
🍞 Feed your body, not your guilt
It’s easy to fall into the “snack or starve” cycle — to eat nothing, or everything you can reach. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s balance.
Gentle, steady foods help your body regulate mood and energy: toast, oats, bananas, yogurt, crackers, soup.
A full meal is great, but even a few bites count. Hunger makes mood dips worse and emotions louder.
💊 Take your meds
Set them somewhere visible — by the kettle, near your phone, on your nightstand. Taking them is care, not routine. It means you’re still showing up for yourself.
🚽 Go piss, girl
Yes, really. Depression loves turning basic care into quests. But dehydration and UTIs don’t make anything easier.
Go. Stretch a little while you’re there. You’ll feel a tiny bit better after.
🧺 Freshen the energy
Change into clean pyjamas or soft clothes. Even if you crawl straight back into bed, it’s a reset — of smell, texture, and energy.
If you can manage it, open the curtain or crack a window for five minutes. Let in daylight, air, or the sound of outside. Remind your body that the world still exists.
Fresh bedding is also one of our favourite ways to get rid of the literal bed rotting feeling. It’s worth the energy it takes.
🧴 Ground through your senses
When thoughts spiral, the senses bring you back. Try one of each:
- Touch: wrap up in a blanket, hold a stone, use a heat pack on your chest.
- Smell: use a balm or oil — lavender for calm, citrus for brightness, vanilla for safety.
- Sound: put on your comfort show, soft music, or a gentle playlist.
- Sight: fairy lights, candle glow, or tidying one small corner.
- Taste: herbal tea, mint sweets, or a bit of fruit.
Each small act is a reminder — you’re still here, you’re still real, you’re still trying.
🕯️ Skills, Connection & Boundaries
The Big Sad lies. It tells you no one cares, that you’re too much, that you should be doing better.
Those are gremlins — intrusive, lying thoughts dressed as reason. You don’t have to believe them.
When your mind is cruel, use your skills and structure to quiet the noise.
🌬️ Grounding & Regulation
If you know DBT or CBT tools, this is the time to use them — not to fix the sadness, but to survive it.
- STOP: Stop, Take a step back, Observe what’s happening, Proceed mindfully.
- TIPP: Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing, Progressive muscle relaxation — little resets for when your body’s spiralling.
- 5-4-3-2-1: Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste.
None of these erase depression — they just keep it from swallowing you whole.
💬 Reaching Out
Isolation feeds the fog.
You don’t have to pour your heart out — sometimes it’s enough to text, “Big sad, pls send meme.”
Reach out to someone safe: a friend, partner, chosen family, or even an online space where you feel seen. Even time with your pets makes a difference (they know when you’re hurting).
Connection doesn’t fix everything, but it reminds you you’re still part of something.
🕰️ Set “Moping Time”
You’re allowed to feel miserable. Pretending otherwise just pushes it deeper.
Set aside a little window — maybe 20 minutes — to feel it fully. Cry, vent, nap, journal, listen to sad music.
When the timer’s done, take one small action: refill your drink, change position, brush your teeth.
It’s not about pretending it’s over — it’s about teaching your brain that feelings can pass.
⚖️ Boundaries & Expectations
Your capacity isn’t constant. Some days you can do chores; some days you can barely breathe.
Lower the bar. Be kind about what “productivity” means right now.
Existing through the storm is still doing something.
🌼 Holistic & Herbal Supports
You can’t brew depression away — but you can support the body and mind carrying it.
Herbal and holistic care works best as comfort, not cure: little sensory rituals that soothe your nervous system and remind you that you still matter.
⚠️ Note: Always check for medication interactions, especially if you take antidepressants. Herbs that affect serotonin (like St. John’s wort) can interfere with prescriptions. The ones below are gentle companions that don’t clash with most medications.
🍋 Citrus — Joy Magic
In witchcraft, citrus is sunlight made tangible. It’s used for cleansing, renewal, and calling joy back into your space.
Use it when: you feel stuck, grey, or numb.
How: Orange or grapefruit essential oil in a diffuser, a slice of lemon in your water, or one of our citrus-infused scrubs or bath bombs.
Why it helps: Bright scents can lift mood and reawaken dull senses — a spark of energy without caffeine’s crash.
🌿 Lemon Balm — Calm Focus
A soft, lemony herb that soothes without sedating.
Use it when: anxiety joins the sadness.
How: Tea or balm blend.
Why it helps: Supports rest, focus, and gentle nervous system balance.
🌼 Chamomile — Comfort in a Cup
The herbal equivalent of a warm hug.
Use it when: you’re tense, restless, or overstimulated.
How: Tea, bath soak, or steam bowl.
Why it helps: Calms the gut and muscles, easing the physical weight of low mood.
🌹 Rose — Heart Healing
Symbol of love and softness, rose helps you reconnect to compassion — especially toward yourself.
Use it when: you feel numb or unworthy.
How: Rose tea, infused oil, or a bath spell like Love.
Why it helps: Its scent lowers stress hormones and encourages emotional release.
💜 Lavender — Rest & Release
Gentle, grounding, and a nervous system ally.
Use it when: you can’t sleep or your thoughts won’t stop circling.
How: Balm, pillow mist, bath, or pulse-point oil.
Why it helps: Signals the body to slow down and breathe deeply.
🌱 Peppermint & Rosemary — Clarity & Refresh
Use it when: you feel sluggish or detached.
How: Diffuser, scrub, or herbal steam.
Why it helps: Gently increases alertness and clears the mind without caffeine.
These herbs and scents aren’t about fixing depression — they’re about building a small sensory routine that keeps you tethered.
A warm drink, a scented balm, a scrub that smells like sunlight — they remind your brain that comfort still exists, and that you deserve to feel it.
🌙 The Magic in Small Acts
Depression can make every action feel meaningless — but the truth is, every small act is defiance.
Lighting a candle, brushing your hair, drinking water, sending a message… each one is a quiet refusal to disappear.
These aren’t chores. They’re spells for survival.
Every little thing you do for yourself — no matter how mundane — carries energy.
It says I still care, even if I don’t feel it right now.
That is powerful magic.
We can’t outthink depression. We can’t manifest it away.
But we can keep showing up for ourselves in soft, imperfect ways.
We can remind each other that care, community, and comfort still exist.
How can we Help?
So unfortunately, we do not hold the cure to depression, and there is no magic spell we can offer to just snap you out of it (no ‘a magic wand that could do anything’ vibes here). There are little things we can do to help, as people who have been there ourselves. Our brand is built around finding ways to love & care for yourself whatever season of your life.
Our inbox is always open
We are here to listen, guide and share our small tips.
That being said, if we are worried for your safety, we will urge you to speak to the professionals (Mae’s Mental Health First Aid certificate only goes so far). We can link you to services and sites that we’ve used and found helpful, or give you hints at what to say to health professionals to get them to listen. If you’re facing a problem we probably know a service, link or a person who can help advise you.
We also offer products that help you connect with your body and work small spells to help you love yourself. We know that a cup of tea and a bath won’t solve everything, but putting in effort to look after yourself does make a difference. A little TLC can go a long way.
- Sleepy Bean Body Scrub: chamomile and ylang ylang calm the senses; the gentle scrub resets body and mind before rest
- Love Bath Spell: rose and calendula open the heart and remind you to show yourself gentleness
- Lime Light Bath Bomb: zesty lime and coconut wake up your senses with soft, joyful brightness
- Sweet Dreams Balm: lavender and ylang ylang melt tension away so you can finally exhale
- Mango Bango Body Scrub: bright mango and citrus lift low spirits; the texture grounds you while washing away heaviness
- Sun Fruit Bath Bomb: a fizzing burst of warmth & citrus that calls joy back into your body
- Golden Bath Spell: chamomile, cinnamon, and orange for luck, light, and a little bit of hope
- Refresh Body Scrub: rosemary and jasmine clear the fog; a quick scrub to wake skin, mind, and focus
- Star Burst Bath Bomb: lemon, rosemary, and grapefruit spark motivation and creative focus
- Banish & Begin Bath Spell: sage, eucalyptus, and bay leaf clear the heaviness and open the path to renewal
Taking time to love & care for yourself makes time for you to connect to your body and those pesky feelings that desperately need processing in a safe and healthy way. We know its daunting. We promise it is worth it when you’re ready.
🌧️ Remember: This Isn’t Forever
The Big Sad isn’t the end — it’s a season.
It rolls in, it lingers, and eventually, it moves on.
It might visit again, but you’ll know its tricks a little better next time.
You’re not weak for struggling. You’re human.
You deserve rest, softness, and care — even when you can’t feel worthy of it.
When you’re ready to help yourself again, we’ll be here to lift you back up.
Until then, drink something kind, wrap yourself in warmth, and let time do what it does best — move.
⚠️ Safety Reminder
If your safety is slipping:
Follow your plan. Avoid risky activities (like bathing alone).
Reach out to someone you trust or a helpline:
Mind UK, Samaritans (116 123), Hub of Hope, or SHOUT (text 85258).
You deserve safety, care, and time to heal.
🕯️ From Us to You
Love, Tia & Mae — two messy, magical souls who’ve met the Big Sad more times than we can count.
We don’t have all the answers, but we do have softness, warmth, and lived experience.
If this finds you in the thick of it, know that you’re not alone.
We’ve been there too — and we’re rooting for you, always. 🌿
