Redefining Self-Harm

Goal: To broaden the understanding of what self-harm looks like, moving away from stereotypes.

What is Self-Harm, Really?

At its core, self-harm is any intentional action taken to cause yourself pain, injury, or distress. It is a physical response to an emotional overload. While media often focuses on one specific type, self-harm is a spectrum.

As for the “why”, there are so many reasons someone will start and continue to hurt themself. Each is personal and a symptom of a deeper root cause.

The Different Faces of the Urge

It isn’t always about a razor. Recognizing these patterns in yourself or others is the first step toward finding a different coping mechanism:

• Physical Harm: Cutting, burning (with lighters, cigarettes, or friction), scratching, or picking at skin and existing wounds to prevent healing.
• Self-Neglect: Purposely not eating, refusing to sleep, or ignoring medical needs as a way to “punish” the body.
• Dangerous Situations: Intentionally putting yourself in harm’s way, reckless driving, or walking alone in unsafe areas with the hope that something “happens.”
• Substance Misuse: Using drugs or alcohol specifically to “numb out” or cause physical distress.
• Over-Exercising: Pushing your body past the point of pain or injury as a way to vent internal pressure.

The Bottom Line: If the intent is to hurt yourself because you feel you “deserve it” or because you need the pain to “feel real,” it counts.

Recognising the Problem

Whether it yourself or someone else, it might not always be obvious. We like to hide our shame and guilt, and there is always another explanation for something. Identifying that something is wrong helps you bring compassion and understanding to the situation.

• Thought patterns: statements and thoughts that are negative about self image, indicate emotional distress/numbness, or show a lack of self worth. Things like “It doesn’t matter what happens to me”, or “I just want to feel something”.
• Hiding and secrets: covering up with more layers that seem out of place or hiding things with statements that don’t fit or make sense.
• Sharps: objects that are likely to cause harm being squirrelled away in private spaces.
• Isolation: avoiding other people or situations normally indicates a negative state of mental health
• Highs and lows: mood changing rapidly, and seemingly for no reason. Adrenaline rushes, over cheerful, depressed, fatigue…

Most importantly, do not accuse or judge anyone. The question “why?” is not always helpful.

You deserve support regardless of how the harm manifests.