The Sane Self Strategy: The Safety Plan
When things “go down,” your brain effectively short-circuits. You won’t remember where you saved that crisis number, and you certainly won’t feel like searching for it. A safety plan is your pre-written set of instructions for when you can no longer trust your own impulses.
Why You Need a Safety Plan
It’s a personalized map of your “red zones” and your “safe harbours.” It’s essentially a letter from your sane self to your crisis self.
When you are in distress and your emotional thinking has taken over, it is really difficult to use your wise mind. By planning ahead and setting up an easy guide, yourself and others can follow it to keep you safe.
Next time you hit a low, you have an action plan full of reminders of what to do and how to get through it.
Bonus: Healthcare professionals see this as a major step in the right direction for wanting to improve your situation and you are more likely to get on the waiting list for the treatment and care you need sooner.
Personalizing Your Plan
- The “No-Go” List: Be brutally honest with yourself. If you know that having a bath when you’re low is a trigger or a danger, put it in writing: “DO NOT HAVE A BATH.”
- Environmental Safety: Instructions on how to “crisis-proof” your space. This might mean: “Put all sharps in the lockbox and give the key to [Partner/Friend].”
- The Body Double: If you know you shouldn’t be alone, name the person you contact immediately to just be in the room with you.
- The “Why” Reminders: A quick list of what is keeping you here (pets, coffee dates, a gig next month or pure spite).
- The Resource List: a list of contacts for you to reach out to when you are struggling with your mental health and strong urges. This can include close friends, help lines or trusted family members.
- Other Factors: it sounds silly but when you are upset it can be hard to detect what is making it worse. Something as simple as a reminder to breath, eat, drink, rest, sit in the dark or go outside might make a huge difference to your mood.
- ‘Good things’ checklist: a list of things you know help sooth you, improve your mood, or distract you. Keep it simple and easy. Listening to a specific song, a comfort film, a cuddly toy, your self sooth box, venting activities, colouring, a car ride, dancing, cat videos, your favourite sweet…
By having this on one piece of paper (or one pinned note on your phone), you don’t have to make decisions. You just have to read and follow. It’s about surrender—surrendering the decision-making to the version of you that wasn’t in pain when they wrote the plan.
Where to Keep It
- The Fridge: High visibility for you and the people you live with.
- Phone Lock Screen: A “lite” version of your crisis numbers.
- With Your “Support Squad”: Give a copy to your partner, your wife, or your best friend. If they see you spiraling, they can pick up the plan and say, “Okay, the plan says we’re locking the box and I’m staying in the room. Let’s do that.”
You do not need to do this alone. It can be triggering or hard to think about. You can ask others for help and ideas – sometimes they may be more aware of what helps or be able to call you out. Mental Health professionals are also trained to help you create a safety plan.
With compassion and gentle call outs,
Mae